Overcoming Parent Shaming and Embracing Supportive Parenting

Parent shaming is a pervasive and harmful phenomenon that can have long-lasting effects on new parents. This article delves into the complexities of parent shaming, exploring its roots, consequences, and most importantly, strategies for overcoming it. By understanding the underlying causes and cultivating a supportive community, we can break free from the shackles of parent shaming and embrace a more compassionate approach to parenting.

What is Parent Shaming?

Parent shaming refers to the act of criticising, judging, or humiliating parents for their parenting choices, decisions, or actions. This can occur in various forms, including:

Social media comments and posts

Online forums and discussion groups

In-person interactions with family, friends, and strangers

Judgmental looks and body language

Why Does Parent Shaming Happen?

Societal Expectations

Societal expectations and pressure to conform to certain parenting standards can lead to parent shaming. The media, social media, and societal norms often perpetuate unrealistic and unattainable parenting ideals. 

Older Generations

Our parents and parents-in-law parented in a vastly different world, and in a very different way to how we parent today. While they may not have malicious intent, comments and judgements coming from them are very often from a place of “how-we-used-to-do-things”.

Fear and Insecurity

Fear and insecurity about one’s own parenting abilities can manifest as criticism towards others. This fear can stem from personal experiences, past traumas, or a lack of confidence.

Lack of Empathy

Failure to understand and empathise with others’ experiences and challenges can contribute to parent shaming. This lack of empathy can be rooted in a lack of exposure to diverse perspectives and experiences.

The Effects of Parent Shaming

Mental Health

Parent shaming can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and depression in parents. The constant fear of judgment and criticism can erode mental wellbeing as you feel you just aren’t doing enough for your child.

Isolation

Fear of judgment can cause parents to withdraw from social interactions and support networks, leading to feelings of loneliness and disconnection, preferring to rather be home alone with the baby than risk a blow-out with a mother-in-law.

Lack of Confidence

Parent shaming can erode parents’ confidence in their abilities, leading to self-doubt and uncertainty. This can result in a lack of trust in one’s own instincts and decision-making, which can contribute to feelings of post-partum anxiety and depression.

Impact on Children

Parent shaming can also have a negative impact on children, as they may internalise the criticism of their moms and dads.

Overcoming Parent Shaming

Building a Supportive Community

Surround yourself with understanding and non-judgmental people who offer constructive support. This can include online communities, support groups, and social networks. Choose friendships that support you!

Practicing Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience, just as you would a close friend. Practice mindfulness, self-care, and self-forgiveness. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ve got this!

Focusing on Your Own Journey

Concentrate on your own parenting path and avoid comparing yourself to others. Celebrate your successes and learn from your mistakes.

Education and Awareness

Educate yourself about different parenting styles, child development, and the impact of parent shaming. Share your knowledge with others to promote awareness and empathy. Stand up for yourself when you are faced with judgement. Setting boundaries for yourself and your baby will do wonders for your confidence!

Remember that parenting is a journey, and we’re all in this together. Let’s break the cycle of parent shaming and embrace a culture of empathy, understanding, and support, whether in person or online. By doing so, we can create a more compassionate and supportive environment for all of us parents to thrive.

Join our supportive parenting community to connect with fellow parents and find resources to help you overcome parent shaming. 

Share your experiences and offer support to others in the comments section below.